i am a haunted house

and i am the owner coming home after a 20 year vacation 

turn on the light it remains dark

open the door and it falls off the hinges

trip off my own panic trigger 

as I walk on through

creak in the floor I spin around 

there’s nothing there but I pull floorboards dig until I’ve found the earth beneath me

can’t sleep in my own damn home 

so i take the fear and find the rhythm in it

been a year since it’s been so bad

i try and remember how i got through it

every heart beat feels like an earthquake

that rumbles and cracks until i fall in it

i know I have been alive,

i remember the ache

every time I try to feel

feels like I’m gonna break

every feeling that I’ve ignored

comes back as a ghost

all screaming in native tongue

claiming me as their home

i know I have been alive

i remember the ache

every time I try to feel

feels like I’m going to break