day 56

For the first couple moments of meditating today (day 56 of doing so), it felt like the worry/fear was a river and I was swimming it. Or struggling to swim in it. My mind wouldn’t stop thinking about all the terrible things that could happen and how I could potentially prevent them.

But then I remembered- I do not have to be in the river. I can sit at the water’s edge and watch all of it go by. So, I did.

It is a completely different to know that this gift of mediation then it is to live it. And I’m not saying the rest of the meditation was easy, or that I didn’t dip my hand in the water and get dragged out by worry again. BUT even this little bit of detachment felt like an opening. A clearing in the clouds.

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