the tricks

Sometimes the tricks stop working.

The 54321, and the box breathing, journaling, meditating. It just all stops working.

And then sometimes it starts working against you.

You notice your breath, but is it too shallow? too heavy? is the way you’ve always breathed? are you getting enough oxygen? is there carbon monoxide in the air? if there was–would you know it? is there an alarm? are the batteries dead? are the batteries faulty? is this the one broken machine out of a million? has it been recalled? is this actually what dying feels like? or is this just what being alive feels like?

“haunted house” is a song written in the middle of this. coming to your local device this november.