You know that feeling when you don’t trust someone else’s motives? Like the car salesman. You’ve been taught forever that there are hidden fees and that they trick you so that they can make more money. So when you walk into the car dealership– your eyes are wide. You’ve done the research and you know how to ask the right questions so that you get the lowest price possible.

And then you do, and it is awkward. It is like they feel that you don’t trust them, but they’re people too. There’s a conflict. Do you trust what you know about the role of being a car salesman? Or do you trust the person (you just met) selling you the car?

Then one day you’re on the opposing end of that. After answering hours of questions you realize that the person who you’re working with does not trust your motives. Or maybe it is not your personal motives that they distrust but rather the role that you fill. In a way, it is not personal at all, it is part of the job that you now do. And then the question becomes, how can I show this person that I’m not trying to rob them for all they are worth? Or rather the company I work for is not trying to rob them for all they are worth?

And the answer is slowly. You can’t reasonably assume that a person will trust you if tell them to, but rather it is a long process of showing them. Trust is grown by consistency.