big feelings

I’ve felt pretty existential recently. And that brings along with it a deep sadness but braided with joy and gratitude.

It’s a big feeling. And one that I try to avoid because I see it all– the good, the bad, and the love all encapsulated within the time that feels like a limitation. How is it possible to be so curious/gutted by existence, know that you don’t want to leave it, and know that you will eventually leave it all at the same time?

I know it is the temporality which makes it so sweet and good. But also, makes me cry.