As part of my academic work last year, I wrote down a few guiding questions that I wanted to explore during the school year. This year, I return to them and reflect on how I answer them now:

— What is the difference between practicing to ignore my body and practicing to be my body? —

Good care. The difference is attending to the sensations that current (and classical music) culture shove in the corner. It seems overly prevalent to skip meals, practice until you’re injured, or fill your schedule so full that you don’t get enough sleep. But these habits to lead to further negative habits. And then I find myself numbing out, and my ability to sense nuance has completely dissolved. And what is “classical” music without ability to sense and perform nuance?